The BBC's iconic monolith 'Jezza' is in danger of collapsing due to its 'feet of clay' and 'teeny, weeny, tiny, toe' say experts.
The alabastard figure is currently on display in the new Broadcasting House main foyer, but many fear that its instability could bring the whole building crashing about it.
"In layman's terms, he's crumbling under his own weight," said one BBC restorer. "As each year passes, his feet cannot support the twist and turns of his top-heavy pose. We've tried filling him in every time he cracks up, but almost immediately another fault appears. Immensely popular antiquated figures like Jezza have to be treated with kid gloves; it's almost as if they have a mind of their own, albeit microscopic."
However this view is contradicted by spokesman for preservation society 'The Friends of Jezza', James May.
"He really hasn't got a nasty bone in his body. In fact, he has no bones. He's a a statue, for godssake." said May. "No. Jezza's main problem is the bell end. Not the acorn tucked behind the steering wheel, but Jezza himself. He's a massive cock."
A BBC insider commented, "We're all petrified. Jezza may be an institutional icon, but the higher up he gets the more unstable he becomes. He could go at any time, bringing us down with him."
