An influx of overseas visitors is being blamed for the UK Border Force computer system to go into meltdown at major UK airports. Queues caused blockages in corridors and stretched back out onto the tarmac while some passengers were prevented from leaving aircraft for their own safety. The UK is still some months away from its peak tourism season and additional staff have been drafted in to process immigration documents and find out what has led to the sudden increase in numbers.
Len Watson, Head of Passport Control, at Gatwick Airport reported that on questioning, several visitors say they have been attracted by the forthcoming European Election. The unlikely focus of attraction is UKIP who have, in recent weeks, upped their self promotion and media profile. Andreas Andersen from Denmark spoke glowingly of Nigel Farage, claiming to be a huge fan of the “Nick and Nige Show” as the recent Clegg and Farage debates have been nicknamed across Europe. “We’re huge comedy fans in Denmark,” Andersen said, “and we consider British humour to be world beating. This new double act is very entertaining and I have come from Kolding for my stag night hoping to see them live. My friends and I are big, big fans of British satire”.
Queues for non-EU visitors were also brisk earlier tonight. A group of politics students from Columbia University in the USA, calling themselves the “Friends of Farage” stated that they were on a field trip to study the effects of “UKIPism” on the British public. A spokesman for the group said, “We think he’s a very clever man. Just when you think you’ve understood his policies or he’s said something usually quite profound, he says or does the complete opposite and acts like that was the plan all along! We feel American politics could really benefit from his philosophy. Hey! Is it true he’s standing for office in New York?”
A UKIP spokeswoman was coaxed out from behind her fridge to comment on the situation. “Are they going home soon? Nigel won’t like this, you know. Are they after jobs? Are they moving to Newark? I blame the elections. The sooner we all get elected to Europe, the sooner we can all not cross the Channel and protest by doing bugger all. Vote UKIP!”