Hooray Henries are well nervous after the second toff in a week goes and snuffs it in a weird way. Officials have so far kept shtum about whether he was Brahms and List as a result of him being 'a bit' related to the Queen, known to be the poshest woman in the UK. A few expensive-looking older birds had already expressed shock and dismay after the first geezer went arse-over in some boozer in America. One minted old slapper said 'This is well shocking what with the fact I only saw the geezer a couple of weeks ago, and that. Diamond, he was. And Cointreau to what you read in the dirty press I never had it off the with bloke, OK? Not once. Technically.'
Hot on the heels of the revelations about the first Lord Snooty popping the wooden Dutch footwear in a way not usually associated with the upper crust, comes news of a second bloke. This one was almost as upper class, and he got topped in some boozer. This geezer had posh connections an' all. Police are treating it as foul play, an a man has been taken into custody, though at this stage it could be a right old stitch up, who knows. The Bill are still widely thought to be a bit weird with the ruling classes.
One braying toff who preferred not to be identified cos his name's too hard to spell what with the hyphens an' that said 'Fuck me. Would you Adam and Eve it? I'm fuckin watching my step this week and stickin to shandies while this malarkey persists. It's enough to put you off your plover's eggs an that.'