the 'Violence statistics' one-liner takes as its starting point the real headline that recorded violence has fallen by 12%. The joke, which possibly only Spartacus appreciated, involved turning the noun 'fall' into the verb 'fall', moving via this play on words from the factual headline to one about excuses people sometimes give when trying to excuse signs of violence. It's that frisson, that clash between expectation and outcome, that creates the humour. By presuming to improve my punctuation, you appear to have lost the joke in the process and the result is leaden.
One of the best and simplest jokes in the English language involves two goldfish in a tank, with one saying to the other, 'Do you know how to drive this thing?' If, say, you start off with them in an armoured car, the play on the word 'tank' and the mental clash and release resulting from the change in meaning are lost, along with the joke.
I don't believe in explaining jokes, but I felt it worth explaining why the changes lost most of what little humour the line contained in the first place.