Camilla Rosemary Mountbatten-Windsor, formerly Parker Bowles, who for years languished, along with her sister Annabel Shand Elliot, in the shadow of the loveliest child in the Shand nest, Mark, was dramatically promoted to the role of ‘prettiest sibling’, following his fatal accident. A 'Farewell Mark and about bloody time' party is being held tonight in the London home of the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall
Mark Shand suffered a shocking demise while taking some air outside a New York after-party, though passers-by have reported seeing ‘some pissed old fart trying to grab a fag outside a pub’.
The Duchess herself was in a state of bewilderment at the news of her sudden acceleration into the limelight.
‘Until today’, she said ‘I was best known for being the step-something-granny of that spoilt little emu-loving shit George VII. This, however, puts me on my own ground, top of my own tree. Claret House will be awash with champagne, quails eggs and brown noses tonight at my coming-of-old-age party'
‘In memory of dear Mark, I start using a stubble-trimmer tomorrow. I can only pray that I look that good’.