Less than 24 hours after being granted UK minority status, Cornish independence party Mebyon Kernow have announced the county has seceded from Great Britain with immediate effect and can now be considered a separate country.
As leader Dick Cole made the surprise announcement in Bodmin, teams of Civil Engineers and demolition experts began simultaneous action to annexe Cornwall, destroying road and rail bridges and widening the Tamar to place a 300 metre water border between themselves and Devon.
Despite attempts to thwart the total severance along the north coast of the county, members of the KRL (Cornish Liberation Army) prevented a throng of pro-UK supporters from sabotaging creation of the border and prevented the creation of a peninsula that would allow road traffic to flow into the region.
The declaration of independence came as some surprise to Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander, who was alongside Mr. Cole in Bodmin, planning to give a speech about the history and identity of Cornwall and its people. Instead, Mr. Alexander is now being held as a Special Guest of the Government of Kernow in their new assembly in Truro.
Following the proclamation, Prime Minister David Cameron chaired an emergency meeting of COBRA, the government emergency response committee, discussing possible courses of action in response to both the pronouncement of self-rule and the safe return of Mr. Alexander to UK soil.
Speaking after the meeting, Mr. Cameron said, “The COBRA committee deplore this sudden and shocking action by the KRL and the illegal capture of British citizens, most notably the Chief Secretary to the Treasury. Naval vessels have already been dispatched into the newly-created Tamar Channel to prevent any unauthorised crossings from Cornwall to Britain. I instruct Mr. Cole to allow landing of these vessels at Saltash to return all UK citizens trapped by this illegal act.”
When asked about possible sanctions to the newly-created country, Mr. Cameron responded, “Britain has never, and will never give in to acts of terrorism. Mebyon Kernow has committed such an act and as such, will be blockaded by our armed forces to prevent movement out of the county.”
Despite these attempted sanctions, aid has been offered to Cornwall by fellow Celts in Wales. A flight has been arranged between Cardiff and Newquay carrying essential supplies, but was forced to turn back following interception by RAF fighters. Following negotiation with the government, the flight was allowed to try again, but was forced to turn back a second time after Cornish citizens began shooting at the aircraft, believing it to be witchcraft.
When asked why they were arranging aid to the illegal nation, Plaid Cymru Chief Executive Rhuanedd Richards replied, “Well, it annoys the English, doesn’t it?”
Cornish Secedes from Union, Welsh to provide Aid
(2 posts) (2 voices)
Less than 24 hours after being granted UK minority status, Cornish independence party Mebyon Kernow have announced the county has seceded from Great Britain with immediate effect and can now be considered a separate country.Posted 3 months ago #
A bit long but I love it! Have some stars.
I also await a headline "Putin studies his map carefully, with an ambitious gleam in his eye"Posted 3 months ago #
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