Ruler of the universe God today declared in an interview that he doesn't believe in the existence of David Cameron.
He later clarified that while he has personally seen no evidence of the party leader or his work, he has a great respect for those of whom the belief in a him gives comfort. However, he added "For me, it's basically a story put around to help them think that things might one day get better."
The omnipotent creator of man and head of the Roman Catholic Church was taken by surprise by the question during an interview about whether we should have tighter controls and more rigorous entry criteria to Heaven - God had earlier taken part in a debate with counterpart Satan over whether mankind should be in or out of Eden.
Professor Richard Dawkins, author of a series of annoying books scrutinising the beliefs of deities, said he was "unsurprised" The Lord found it hard to imagine there was such a thing, and argued that "most evil which occurs in the world happens in the name of compassionate conservatism.
Dawkins added: "As we get older, it's tempting to buy into the delusion that there's a middle ground out there, but in the end we just have to face up to the fact that one day we will all be right-wing."