Sir Rab Robertson is to auction his collection of classic football trophies, which he began amassing over the years as a hobby to take his mind off the pressure of being a top-tier lush.
Winners Trophies from the Champions League, Premiership, FA and League Cups will go under the hammer along with football memorabilia accrued by Sir Rab, who, coincidentally, intends to be hammered for the sale.
The silverware has been stored in Ferguson's cellar next to the vast trophy cabinet in which he keeps his treasured collection of vintage Bollinger, Carlsberg Special Brew and Buckfast 'tonic' wine.
He said, "People keep asking me, 'What is the best moment of your career as a wino?' and '99 is without question, as it coincided with winning the Champions League or something like that. A really special year. Hic."
Sir Robertson took up managing a football team in 1986 when he happened to stumble into a skip outside the Old Trafford ground in Manchester. "You have to have outside interests." he said.
Christie's auction house estimate a pre-sale value of £15 million. "There's been immense interest in buying the whole lot from some French bloke in North London," he dribbled. "Apparently he's been chasing after this football trophy shit for years."