It was revealed at the House of Commons today that children up to the age of 6 could be fined as much as £90 for
crying, screaming and/or wailing in public places, including pubs, bars, nightclubs and cafés.
The legislation comes amongst criticism of infants (from senior figures such as Bono and Michael Bublé) whom suggested that the crying was
unfathomably irritatingand created contact of
an insulting and provoking nature. The House of Commons today unanimously confirmed that these comments were entirely correct.
David Cameron suggested that the crying was
driving a wedge in the relationship between infants and the adult publicwhich, he said, if not adequately prevented,
could lead to a full blown conflict between the two groups. He used statistics to defend his argument, stating that there have been
42 suicides in the past year in pubs around the country by those most irritated by the noise.
When asked how the babies would pay for the fines, a loan scheme was suggested in which infants could loan up to £500 to pay for the fines (in case of any further incident) to be paid back with the money they receive from their first 13 birthdays.