I just wanted to say hello, and welcome to this mad world of NewsBiscuit. It's supposed to be a place to help new writers, so I thought I'd give you a few tips. I'm a relative newbie too, so I'm sure one of the veterans will jump in and correct me if I'm wrong!
Your actual writing itself is clear and concise, a really good start when it comes to putting NewsBiscuit subs together because it fits the physical format well. To begin to make a story funny in terms of satire though, you have to have a point which you're making, or a main focus. With this story in particular, it's unclear what the subject of satire is. Is it the teacher for being a total asshole? Is it the lack of time teachers have to spend time on helping their students?
Have a read of this one.
The main point of the satire is that the American 'prom' has become fashionable in Britain with most schools now having one as tradition. It's funny because Suburbandad has taken something which has become normal, and flipped it on its head.
It may seem silly that I've just reduced the joke to such a basic level, but that's the way to start off writing satire/ funny things in general. You need to look at things which make you laugh, and ask yourself what exactly is it that makes them funny and then try them out for yourself.
In the case of this one which I collaborated on with Jesus H, the thing that makes it funny, is that it takes an element of popular culture which most people can relate to, and exaggerates it. People can still relate to it on a basic level, but it's also a bit ridiculous.
Another thing which can add humour, is if the punchline at the end has an unexpected twist in it. (I can't find a specific example of that, but someone else might be able to help me out.)
So there are three structural things to start with, which add humour.
In terms of actually writing something, it can be really, really hard to come up with an idea that works straight off the top of your head. Personally I find that if something makes me angry and I feel really strongly about it, it's easier for me to make fun of. So maybe choose an actual news story, and write a spoof of it to expose a politician, or an idea as ridiculous.
I'm gonna stop now because this is turning into a huge essay, but I definitely suggest checking out the guidelines for contributors. Also, I'm no expert, but if you'd like to work together on a story I'd definitely be up for that! My email address is katewritesstuffATliveDOTcoDOTuk (obviously replace the words with punctuation, I just don't want all the spam.)
I hope you don't mind this massively long comment, but people gave me some points in the right direction when I first started having a go on here, so I thought I'd be constructive and pass it on to someone else. :)