Whilst I genuinely take this as a massive compliment, I'm not Mary and Mary isn't me.
1. I haven't written a book - I'm too busy trying to keep calm and order.
2. I am not from daaahn saaahrf.
3. Mary doesn't have time to dally about with admin stuff, that's why I'm here.
It probably really is quite annoying for her to receive the millions of inane complaints adoring emails which I receive on a daily basis through various social media thingys, so can we just stick with the official Nice Admin Lady email channel please? Surely the greatest giveaway is that if you ask Mary about passwords/ gravatar/ flounce assistance she'll tell you to f*** off, whereas I will endeavour to help.
Also if you're all still adamant that I am in fact, Mary Evans, you're bribing the wrong person for the Writer of the Month award. So although your money/ chocolate/ wine is probably gratefully received by Mary, it's not actually having any bearing on the WoM result. Last laugh's on you.
Related: You know that game where you write a name on a post it, stick it on someone's head and they have to guess who they are? Well we are NOT playing that at the Christmas party because you're all rubbish and it'll drag on longer than a game of monopoly played by chimps.
Love, Nice Admin Lady.