The workshy tax dodgers of Jersey want the reinstatement of the ‘boozy’ Detective to help stamp out the crime that has literally not engulfed the island paradise.
Often seen tearing across the island swigging brandy behind the wheel of his burgundy 1947 Triumph Roadster while catching Jersey criminals, mostly by punching them in the face, Bergerac may be the pseudo Frenchie, potato munching, cow herders best hope according to long time lag Charlie Hungerford.
“We need Jim! Crime has gone up 100% in just a day, the Pork and Cheese are refusing to even venture out to wax my motor… I’m not scrubbing my own bloody toilets you know.”
The Jersey police are woefully unequipped to deal with crime on the 9 mile long island, which is an island and have asked Bergerac to come out of retirement. Commissioner Matt Le Drew asked for the assistance of the press.
“Jim never retired! We saw him in a documentary on UK Gold about this crime ridden English village full of jobless, white middle class murderers. We contacted the BBC in hope they can help us track him down”.
A spokesman for the BBC said that “Bergerac is a fictional character from some awful 80s TV show that was set on Jersey due to the corporations crippling budgetary restraints and Jerseys lackadaisical attitude to UK tax laws…everyone involved with the project was fired a long time ago”.