It has emerged that all Royal households have switched their entire energy supply from electricity to gas. Both the Sandringham and Balmoral estates went over to gas last year. And so far there have been no reports whatsoever of live badger activity.
“We think we've done for the lot of them,” claimed Jock McTavish recently appointed Head of Gas to HRH The Queen. Gatcombe Park's the last to go over exclusively to gas. I've just advised HRH the Princess Royal that she can look forward to a badger-free Spring in 2015.”
Meanwhile over at Highgrove House, Prince Charles has pioneered a Royal Duchy method of humanely gassing tender baby badgers. Then using their composted remains to fertilise his organic potatoes. His exclusive Leek & Potato Badgerless Soup is expected to be ready for launch in time for this year's rush on Christmas hampers.