The Information Commissioner has criticised the ‘cookies’ disclaimer notices on websites as not being sufficiently prominent. “In many cases I can still see the web page behind it”, he told reporters. “Some online newspapers, especially the local ones, have done extremely well, with huge disclaimers which follow the reader around and obscure the dangerous information. The best ones also have layers of graphics-rich adverts which take so long to load that the user really can’t see any information at all. This is the gold standard.
“But in many cases the notices themselves are unobtrusive and easily dismissed, resulting in severe information hazard for web users. I won’t be happy until websites are completely covered in warning notices, making them unusable”
The plan is to cover every web page with a cookies warning which occupies 99.7% of screen space, and which is replaced with an equally large “thank you” notice when it is clicked.
Critics have pointed out that the only sites currently showing cookies warnings are highly reputable, while millions of porn, casino and fraudulent websites ignore the requirement altogether.
“Precisely! This is why my office needs greater powers” said the Commissioner. “Most people are total fuckwits and need protection from this stuff – information, I mean, not porn. If I had my way we would close the libraries, which have been disseminating dangerous ideas for more than a century; I’m pleased to say this has finally started happening”.