Argentina announced today that Lionel Messi will never play for the national team again. The two time world player of the year is too disruptive in the dressing room with his ability to win games leading to him grabbing the media headlines.
Argentina were inspired to drop four time Ballon D'Or winner Messi following the England cricket team's success in the Twenty Twenty World Cup. Although being knocked out in the group stages, the England dressing room was reported to be 'very cheerful, thank you' without the disruptive influence of Kevin Pietersen. Pietersen was dropped by the ECB after disgracing himself by becoming the all time England run scorer across all formats of the game.
"We applaud the ECB for being brave and showing us all our mistakes" said Sabella, the Argentina national team manager, "we now have real ambitions for this Summer's World Cup and are hopeful of having a knees-up after our three matches and then sitting together to watch the knockout stages in a nice bar in Rio"
Bayern Munich are said to be interested in replacing Robben and Ribery with the Chuckle Brothers and Manchester United were looking to buy Mr PotatoHead before realising that he already plays for them.
When CNN were asked about rumours that Piers Morgan's Sacking was ECB inspired, a spokesman said "No, he was just crap"