Reading through this reminds me of when I was married.
Ahh, memories.....
*shudders*
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From a cranky fat bird who spent several hours in premature labour last night
(73 posts) (24 voices)
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Oxbridge
offlineMemberHang on, it's 14 hours on. No doubt you hormone-raddled crack whores are all still lying under your jizz-stained duvets letting off methane bullets while your snot-caked brats mewl for another line of crack in your Council house kitchens. I suppose it's down to us poor hard-working types to keep this twunting one going?
Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberShut the fuck up Oxy. Nobody cocking asked you.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberI've never eaten a bastarding deep-fried pie in my twatting life, you jiz-drizzled shit eater.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberApologies Ant.
Crotch dribbler.Posted 2 years ago # -
antharrison
offlineMemberJeni - have you heard this one....
A bloke is playing the piano in a bar, and a man comes up to him and says "I think you are a fantstic player, would you like to have a job in my nightclub, I'll give you £1000 per night."
"That sounds great said the piano player, and also because I write all my own music there's no copyright or PRS issues to worry about"
"Fantastic" says the nightclub owner "What was the tune you just played"
"Oh that one is one of my favourites and it's called I shagged my girlfriend up the arse and came all over her tits"
Looking worried and sheepish the nightclub owner asks the pianist is he could play something else - which he does - a loverly melody which when asked the title is revealed to be "Spit roast honey loves to gargle with cum."
"Oh dear says the nightclub owner, I'm a bit worried about the song titles but if you promise to remain silent you still can have the job". "It's a deal" says the pianist.
The first hour goes well and it's time for an interval, but a woman caught the pianist's eye and sends over a note which reads "Do you want a blowjob?"
The pianist nods "Yes" and meets the woman backstage where the action commences. Suddenly just as she is finishing him off he realises that he's late back on stage and he grabs together his trousers and runs towards the stage, but is a bit exposed."
A woman stops him and says "Excuse me sir, but do you know your knob's hanging out of your trorsers and there's jizz dripping over your shoes."
"Know it?" he shouted "I fucking wrote it"
Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMember*Groan* (And not in pleasure)
Posted 2 years ago # -
fernandomando
offlineMemberReminds me of a series of contrived jokes of my youth, including the motorbike that was voice operated and accelerated to the words 'fucking hell, that was close' (you can imagine the rest of the joke). You don't get jokes like that any more. I wonder why
Posted 2 years ago #
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