Second World War Historian Dr John Wagstaffe came to a remarkable conclusion today on the cause of the Battle of Britain was in fact the aeroplane. ' It may seem a little obvious but after twenty years of dutiful and painstaking study into the history of britains finest hour, I have found the root cause of the problem, the aeroplane' explained Wagstaffe ' If the German Luftwaffe and the British R.A.F had not used aircraft then they wouldn't have been able to fight each other'.
Wagstaffe's rather bizzarre statement got even more so ' I believe that if both sides had only push bikes to do battle with, they'd of thought twice about trying to take off and go about dog fighting over biggin hill and other such places'.
Wagstaffe is now beginning a new study into whether the battle of the atlantic could be blamed on the atlantic ocean itself with the view that 'if the German Navy and the Allied Fleet tried to do battle on the Serpentine in Hyde Park they would of found it so congested that they wouldn't of bothered but with the Atlantic being so big and expansive then it was just asking for a battle to be fought out on it'.
Final word is left to Wagstaffe's psychiatrist ' just pander to him and agree. He still believes in father christmas you know'.