The EU has directed border officials and security staff to standardise their expressions of official disdain for people using the airports in which they work. It’s understood some Spanish scowling was perceived by travellers as “right wing”, while Irish expressions were said to contain “unofficial twinkling.”
By 2022 the Euro-scowl as it will be known, will be the same from Sicily to Stockholm, from Cork to somewhere in the East of the Community also beginning with c.
Special Scowl Standardization Camps will train border staff in an identical scowl which shows superiority, latent aggression, potential firearms expertise and tolerance of breastfeeding in queues for delayed flights together with a 1.3% tinge of disgust for those in non-European queues. The size and shape of the testicles of German Shepherd dogs will also be standardised across the Union.
Italian officials have threatened strike action until demands over an official after-shave can be met, while Greek officials are said to be unhappy about plans to ban monobrows. Scottish officials are also demanding their own stereotypes in the run up to the referendum.
A plan to merge electronic passport readers with duty free auto checkouts is also under way, although officials say giant Toblerones must be dealt with manually.