“It turns out that living in a house made entirely out of confectionery isn’t particularly healthy”, said a perplexed Kevin McCloud. “Have to say, though, this house is delightful – quirky, playful, with hints of the Bauhaus movement.
“When Agnes first approached the Grand Designs team we were wary – okay, she’s a wicked witch and a cannibal, but she still wasn’t quite as unlovable as our usual selfbuilders. We took a gamble and it paid off at first – real jeopardy for the children, rather than the usual “Oh poor Clarissa and Marcus, they’ve had to take out a bridging loan on their £2 million monstrosity and it’s raining, boo hoo. Also, the cauldron was great television.
“But then the kids escaped, which put a dampener on things. Thank God for the diabetes”.
Readers are advised to seek advice from a structural engineer before commissioning homes built from confectionery.