In a randomised double-blind crossover trial it has been shown that holding a buttercup beneath the chin is a more reliable indicator of a consumer’s dairy spread preferences than telephone surveys, focus groups or a man with a clipboard.
“Took me by surprise, don’t mind admitting it”, said Carl Hansen of pollsters Gallup. “You just hold it under the chin, and if the chin turns golden then the person likes butter. We’re experimenting with other flowers. This is really exciting.
“It isn’t the most sensitive of techniques. For example, I’ve been trying to find out whether ABC1’s in the Woking area would be more likely to buy a frappucino if it was served in a brown cup or a green cup, but I can’t decide what it means when the underside of the person’s chin turns golden. Probably means they prefer the brown cup, that’s my favourite anyway.
“We’ve been commissioned by the LibDems to predict next year’s election result, and the criminal mastermind Goldfinger has commissioned an opinion poll using the new technique. I think he’s going to come out a lot better than in previous polls “