Surgeons charged with Female Genital Mutilation were said to be 'in a bit of a flap' yesterday after accusations that they were members of a widely discredited organisation known as New Labia.
New Labia almost faced charges of statutory rape ten years ago, after forcing itself on an innocent country in the middle east, causing lasting damage and more than a few fatalities. The leader of this movement, a Mr Tony B-Liar, is known to have fallen under the influence of a shadowy and wholly amoral 'Bush' and his 'Congress'. Advisors begged Mr B-Liar not to attempt to emulate the american Bush, as it would be highly illegal and result in enduring pain.
There is evidence that Tony ignored advice and colluded in the messy removal of a complete cunt from Iraq, a procedure deemed to be of little long-term benefit to the patient. Bush is himself said to be wholly unqualified for his role and motivated only by financial and personal gain.
New Labia was said to be secretly driven for some time by Tony's spouse, said to be the 'Rose West' of the partnership. Known inappropriately as 'Cherie', she is reported to be highly dangerous, and in possession of some legal training and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Rank and file members of New Labia are also said to be upset, as they joined to make the world a better place and were in many instances just 'box tickers'. Cynics point out that New Labia attracts people who are no good with figures but who just love cutbacks. One of the most senior members, known only as Gordon, is said to be a shambling inept with a bedside manner and creepy smile that causes nightmares. There are unconfirmed rumours that Tony has since moved on to be replaced by someone who even looks like a vagina.
FGM surgeons have hit back at the accusations angrily, saying 'given our chosen specialisation, why would we join an organisation led by such an enormous twat?'