It has emerged that juries are being secretly rigged across Europe to ensure that Russia wins Eurovision 2014 in May. 'A win for Russia will cripple their economy,' declared Foreign Secretary William Hague. 'Sochi cost an arm and a leg in 2014, and having further to host Eurovision in 2015 will bring Russia to its knees. That will teach them to annexe Crimea.' He pointed out that it is little appreciated how Ireland's winning Eurovision four times in the nineties had led directly to the collapse of its economy a decade later. Only the drastic action of coming last in 2013 had staved off complete bankruptcy in Ireland. Stavros Papadopoulos, the Greek Minister of Culture, pointed out that the delicate economy of Greece has been kept afloat only by their submitting a series of relentlessly crap songs for the Eurovision contest. 'We've cracked it!' declared David Cameron. 'Crimea will be back in Ukraine before the Eurovision voting begins.'
Secret Ukrainian plan for Russia to win Eurovision Song Contest
(1 post) (1 voice)
You must log in to post.