With the relaxation of pension pots announced in the budget, concern has been raised by Lamborghini, the supercar manufacturer, about the pensioners' choices. 'Frankly we don't want whippet owning old farts driving our cars around,' said a spokesman, 'taking them down to the bookies or the bingo for a tax subsidised flutter, we want glamorous, obscenely wealthy old farts driving them around, taking them to Monte Carlo for a tax subsidised flutter.'
The Liberal Democrats agree. 'There should be government advice on how to squander your pension savings,' a spokesman said. A supercar might be exciting, but why not squander it with a donation to the Liberal Democrats instead? Both choices would make you excited for a nano second, one would then cause you to die on the first bend you hit and the second would make you wish you had died.'
The government has announced that it is putting ten pounds it found down the couch aside to fund advice for pensioners considering squandering the rest of their pensionable existence away.