The Coallition government has promised swift action in response to a report from the Foresight Futures "Heads Up" programme on headwear and the effects of climate change.
The report highlights increasing probability of quite gusty weather in the future, and at unpredictible times, as the effects of climate change exerts its pernicious grip. "We have modelled this, and there is a real threat of people losing their hats, and other head apparel, as time goes by".
However, it is not all gloomy weather ahead - the Business Secretary, Vince Cable, not known normally as a "Hats Man" has launced a Government funded campaign to supply every UK taxpayer with a Lego-style press stud on the top of their head, in order to make hats "reliably secure". Mr Cable continued "this is a fantastic opportunity to work in a trans-disciplinary, multi-sector approach to face the ravages of our increasingly uncertain fute. We shall bringing together materials science, advanced medical procedures, the toy sector, and the fashion industry in one allmighty programme. People will be able to continue to wear their hats with confidence, in the most adverse of differential pressure-type situations".
When asked how this will be rolled out, Mr Cable confirmed that the NHS would be the lead delivery organisation, with greatly a expanded effort in Plastic Surgery.