This is a great operation if one of yer mates has fallen over after sufferin' the old brain ‘emmorage. ‘Is missus will be really chuffed wiv yer.
First grab a sharp carver and whip-off the top of his old bonce with a swift chop.
Then ‘ave a look into his napper and look for where its leaking and stuff like that.
Next using the old butcher’s string patch around the leaky bit.
Finally whack the top back-on and hey presto me old mucker's back to normal.
And don't worry if it goes tits-up. Wrap him in foil, plonk him on the barbie for hour-or-so. Rip-open the foil, whack on a bit of hand-torn rosemary, a quick pinch of salt and pepper and serve with chunky chips. Pukka!
An join me next week in the gulf of bloomin' Mexico where me an me mates ul be tryin' to cap the old leak wiv a packet of me dad's spuds, a bottle of me gran's favourite balsamic vinegar an some newkie brown dumplins. Jules will be bringin some cheesy baps to mop-up the left overs. If it don't fix it at least the oil and vinegar will make a lovely dressin.