A cell of ten Russian spies has been discovered and apprehended in a branch of KFC in Washington. They are suspected of trying to discover vital US secrets including the Colonel's secret recipe and that for Coca Cola. "We have to be concerned that these youths were able to get so close to high ranking military personnel such as Colonel Saunders." commented one FBI official.
Sources close to the investigation say that the operatives did not get close to their mission objectives. Their most recent communication with Moscow included the contents list from a can of Coke and suggestions that in most cases KFC produce seems to contain fluid from teenage acne and there is some anecdotal evidence to suggest the inclusion of laxatives.