It was a move which baffled many. The BBC, arguably Britain’s most effete bunch of southern nancies, moving thousands of staff to Salford, one of the few towns to have actually gone downmarket since it was painted by LS Lowry. The reasons behind the move have been a mystery – until now.
“The North-South divide was getting worse”, says a BBC source. “Contrary to expectations, southern kids were losing their virginities 2 - 3 years sooner than their northern counterparts. It didn’t seem to make sense, until we factored in the thousands of children introduced to the ‘sentimental arts’ by BBC staff in the 1970s.
“We have a duty to provide balance across the political spectrum and also regionally. It isn’t our job to take a moral position on whether buggering children is wrong, if we’re doing it for some southern kids, we have to provide the same service to northern kids. Read the Charter. It’s no different to giving airtime to Nick Clegg – let’s face it, he hasn’t got anything to say, but he has to get the same amount of time as the other two.