George Osborne denied today that he has lost the plot, whilst announcing a 3% tax on Dark Matter.
“ The Conservative Party is committed to making sure that hard work pays. Dark matter doesn’t produce anything, it just exists. The parallels with benefit claimants and the Scots are obvious”, said the Chancellor.
Earlier plans to tax neutrinos failed when it was revealed that we can’t detect them passing through the Earth, leading the Daily Mail to complain about the UK Border Agency (again).