1. …. was the void, and darkness was upon the face of the void, and God said ‘It is really boring sitting here in the dark, I had better get started’
2. So God said ‘Let there be light’ and there was light. And God said ‘Blimey, that was a bit much, I cannot see a thing, I won’t do that again’ .
3. And God was still bored so he said ‘Let there be stars and planets, and comets and meteorites and other things’ And it was so and it was good, but after a while, a very long while, God was bored again, so God said ‘Let there be earth and water’ and there was earth and water, and there was a lot of mud. But that also was pretty boring.
4. So God said ‘Let there be life on the planets, because it gets far too hot on the stars’. And there was life on the planets, but it was mostly slime, and god said ‘Eugh, that is disgusting, let there be plants to compete with the slime’, and it was so.
5. And in the oceans there was seaweed and upon the earth there was grass, and after a while there were trees and God looked upon the planet and said ‘That is pretty good’, but the seaweed started clogging up the oceans and the grass grew like hell. So God said ‘Let there be fish in the oceans to eat the seaweed and animals upon the land to eat all the grass’ And there were anchovies and mackerel in the sea and there were catfish in the rivers, and in the aquarium there were Neon Tetras. And upon the land there were wildebeest and zebras to eat the grass and giraffe to nibble at the trees And it was so. And it was good. But it was getting complicated.
6. And God looked upon the land and said ‘Good Grief, look at all those wildebeest, I need something to thin them out a bit’ And God invented predators, and that was when the trouble started, for the predators did indeed thin out the wildebeest, but they were a nasty bunch of characters. And things were getting even more complicated.
To be continued