The future king of England was being comforted by friends last night amid fears that his life was, in fact, just a joke. "It started on Friday when I saw a man walk into a bar” said the Prince. “Directly afterwards I saw a chicken cross the road. One could argue that there is nothing odd about that of course, but earlier that morning I’d been commiserating with my sister, about one of her sick mounts, and I overheard the vet telling a lady-in-waiting that to bury her recently deceased elephant would be a huge undertaking.”
Palace officials have confirmed that Prince Charles is struggling with the significance of his existence as a result of Friday’s events. “It’s been a growing concern for the Prince for some time” says our royal correspondent, “last week he visited the Palace physician complaining of excessive wind, only to be prescribed a kite.” The Prince pressed his doctor further, explaining that other symptoms included the historically common Royal complaint of wanting to paint everything gold, yet was not placated when the doctor identified his condition as an ‘ordinary gilt complex’. It is believed the Queen herself arrived soon after to comfort her eldest son. Charles reportedly appealed to his mum with the words ‘I’m at boiling point!’. It was unclear whether her majesty was fully briefed in the severity of the Prince’s condition, as her response of ‘oh, simmer down’ is believed to have pushed him right over the royal edge.
Despite doubting the validity of his own existence, the Prince was inadvertently involved in saving a young man’s life just last week by catching a palace employee who fell through the ceiling in the ballroom. Mr. Rufus Falling, 25, is said to have suffered only minor cuts and bruises. Palace aide’s have confirmed that the Prince was buoyed by his involvement in helping Mr. Falling and is said to be in a more positive frame of mind as he starts to tackle his current condition.
Prince Charles is the first member of our Royal Family to experience such existentialist troubles. Reports say Charles, 62, suffers from constant ‘nausea’ but is prepared to approach a solution using ‘logical investigations’ despite the suspected physical manifestations of ‘fear and trembling’ that are so often linked to this form of rehabilitation.
Three specialists brought in to help the Prince are Dr. John Smith (Oxford Centre for the Mentally Royal), Dr. Paddy O’Leary (Ireland’s foremost and highly respected Existentialist Problem-Solver) and Prof. Jock McDougall (Head of Psychology at Edinburgh University). Rumours suggest that upon hearing of the experts available to him the Prince reacted: “An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman; are you serious??!”
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“My life is a joke!” Claims Worried Royal
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Ladyjam
offlineMemberPosted 3 years ago #
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