Mayor Buttkysr said today that it would be a waste of time counting the votes since there is no real choice, he added that it saved a lot of time just weighing the boxes and multiplying by 832 to give a plausible figure. He went on to say that most of the council were so tanked up that they could not count past five, let alone manage a heap of ballot papers, so there was no hope of getting any work out of them. The staff were all seen to be swaying about, singing partisan songs. After a few more Vodkas, Buttkysr was well on the way himself, admitting to the press, that the whole thing was a sham and that the soldiers really were Russian, then he suddenly went pale, vomitted and departed shaking violently.
Smegrapol Mayor Admits ‘We do not Count the Votes Anyway’
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