Scottish tennis sensation Andy Murray said he was “Confused” over the appointment of failed England manager Fabio Capello as his new coach. “It’s a new experience for me” said Capello through his interpreter Joe Dolce “After all I’ve always dreamed of being in a quarter final.”
Capello’s first change has been to replace Murray’s carbon fibre tennis racquet with a stainless steel fish slice “It’s much more precise” insisted Capello “And I’m sure he will perform as the fans expect.”
On hearing the news that Murray had crashed-out of the quarter finals with a catastrophic 0-6 0-6 0-6 scoreline despite his injured opponent playing from a wheelchair Capello was quick to congratulate his starlet on his performance “He played great, in fact fantastic, world-class” said Capello “A credit to the nation. If the referee had noticed the double fault when the wheelchair crossed the baseline he would have won convincingly. Can I have £6m?”
The removal of England flags from cars and buildings was halted as a mark of respect following Murray's defeat.