A woman was arrested today after attempting to turn her sandwich into a manwich by dabbling a few drops of HP Sauce on her bacon. Media commentators are already calling this the most serious trial since a female washed her hair with Head and Shoulders for men.
The parents of the woman, who cannot be named for fear of retribution by real men everywhere, said this came as no surprise as she has been flaunted the laws of gender since she was a child, a ‘She always bought Yorkie with a pocket money. At first we though she didn’t understand the message on the wrapper but it was so clear, how could she not know it wasn’t for girls? We begged her to eat gender neutral a chocolate bar like a Twix, we begged her.’
A spokesman [obviously] for HP Sauce released a firm but fair statement on the matter, ‘We have been quite clear from the start; our product is for people who own a penis only and no, large cliterous do not count. We are shocked that someone would ignore these warnings. There are plenty of female only products like bras, they can put that in their sandwich if they want womanwich. I guess this is what happens when you give them the vote.’