Nigel Farage has warned the UK to tighten border controls as the search for flight MH370 continues. The flight disappeared from radars last Saturday leading to conspiracy theories of kidnap, aliens or an elaborate attempt to enter Britain.
'We have to keep to the facts,' the Ukip leader warned. 'A plane that hasn't been seen for a week means we have 237 foreigners unaccounted for. While everyone's focus is on a small area the size of the Southern Hemisphere, we have to be careful the don't slip in here and start taking our jobs, women and beer when we're not looking.'
In what has now become a tradition of Ukip, Farage's argument seemed fall apart when he was asked simple questions from journalists including 'where would the plane land', 'why wouldn't it be noticed by air traffic control', and 'why would anyone chose to enter a country containing a Farage'. Undeterred, he explained that with all his policies there are no thought out answers, however it's probably safe to blame 'gay sluts'.