Bob Crow, Britain’s favourite union leader, will be remembered by his fellow Milwall fans with a series of commemorative disputes at their Championship Derby game with Charlton Athletic this Saturday. Trains to the match will be delayed by valedictory industrial action over pay and conditions, with passengers lining up to complain about having repeatedly to take part in vox pops complaining about strikes. And there will be a touching one minute argument between captains and officials before the delayed kick off about the result of the toss. It’s understood that half time will be delayed over an argument about the interpretation of the offside rule.
Thousands of tanned Milwall fans are expected to return to their South East London council houses, cutting short holidays in the Caribbean and the Costa del Sol, where many of them run British style pubs as a cover for criminal activities, which have long funded the RMT’s campaigns. But members are unapologetic about the disruption this may cause.
“We know this will leave hundreds of British holidaymakers wivout traditional breakfastses,” said a union spokesgeezer. “But in this day and age we have to put the interests of our members first. At the end of the day they have every right to return to their benefits fraud and dangerous dogs in time to be sneered at in a special edition of the Daily Mail. ”
Perhaps surprisingly Mayor of London Boris Johnson will attend the match and take part in the tough negotiations which may result in a series of costly replays. Writing in the Daily Telegraph, Mr Johnson said:
“Nobody can ever again accuse me of refusing to meet Mr Crow over beer and sandwiches, as he has now sadly passed away. Let me say now he was a decent and honourable knees-up-mother-brown sort of fellah with an excellent line in hats, and nobody deserves to be cut down prematurely in this way. But I have to add that notwithstanding my great regret at his demise, Mr Crow was an evil and calculating Marxist conspirator and possibly an assassin to boot. Under that loveable cockney fascade lay a Machiavelli with a Rasputin-like hold over the gullible men and women in charge of the soon-to-be driverless trains on our underground railway. The London Assembly has distributed the sandwiches to food banks, but the RMT has refused to discuss disposal of the beer.”