As the world is full of religious groups beating the crap out of each other, God has been forced to make some very tough decisions. It has been foreseen that entrants into paradise will be unable to live together in harmony. In order to prevent squabbling in the afterlife, God is to introduce a form of Apartheid based on religious conviction. Orthodox Christians, Protestants, Catholics, Sunnis, Shias, Buddhists and Hindus will be confined to separate cloud formations. Jehovah Witnesses and Evangelists will not be permitted anywhere near the airspace of other groups.
Even St Peter, who handles the Immigration desk at the Pearly Gates, acknowledges that the points system for entry needs to be revised. New applicants can get stuck in purgatory for ages. Due to a reduction in the Angelic working day, there is a huge backlog of cases, and with WW III expected, once the corpses start piling up, the situation can only get worse,
The thorny problem of Who you let in and who goes downstairs, has never been adequately resolved. A whistleblower has exposed defects in the appeals process and stated that it is not fit for purpose, thousands of cases from the Crusades and the Inquisition are still awaiting a decision. Another unidentified source, known only as ‘Angel 666’ has recommended that some persons previously identified as sinners should be given the benefit of the doubt.
Peter however, has said that his decision is final, but in an off the record statement said that he needed the patience of a saint to deal with all the bureaucracy.
