English football fans were celebrating again today as news emerged that Germany were 100% guaranteed to not win the current world cup.
Many leading tabloid newspapers this morning reported on the work of Edwin Jenkins, a leading professor of statistics at Durham University who claims that no country has ever won the Eurovision Song Contest and a major international football tournament in the same year. Prof. Jenkins is quoted as saying "Thorough research has shown that once a nation had claimed glory in Europe's premier popularity contest it becomes statistically impossible for that country's football team to win a major competition." When asked about the apparently unrelated nature of the two events Jenkins replied, "Just look at the facts, in the 54 year history of the competition no country has done the double."
One paper even went so far as to claim that a winning Eurovision entry significantly increases the likelihood of cancer amongst footballers of the same nationality.
In a press conference this afternoon German Eurovision winner, Lena, has apologised to the national team, and fellow countrymen for costing them the world cup. "I know I had a good song, but lets face it I didn't expect to win. With all the political voting, we all expected one of the Balkan states to win. Germany has never been too popular with our neighbours," she said, "Anyway at least we beat the English."
Meanwhile in the UK, Pete Waterman is being hailed as a hero for giving England the best possible chance in the World Cup by entering the song 'That Sounds Good To Me' into the 2010 competition.