Eric Pickles, the larger than life MP, has been nominated to replace Tony Blair as UN Middle East Peace Envoy. Mr Blair is expected to stand down from the post soon, at a time to be advised by his accountant.
'I wasn't sure about the job when it was first suggested,' said Mr Pickles today, 'I mean, I'm reasonably partial to peas, especially in a pudding but also in a mountain next to a pie, but apparently this job isn't all about that.' UN insiders have stated that although diplomacy skills are seen to be key to the role, the ability to break bread with the various factions without causing offence is where previous incumbents have fallen down. Mr Pickles added, 'Hal' al, Kosher, whatever, food is food and I don't give a fuck how the animal died as long as there is plenty of it, preferably in a pastry cover.'