In a grovelling public apology published in today's Telegraph newspaper, the UK's weather has attempted to appease the nation's anger.
Britain's weather has been shockingly awful for some time now and this move seems to be an attempt by the weather to signal a change in direction. Cynics have suggested this is a move simply to sell more summer-related items since, being cynics, they're convinced that the weather is open to bribes from lobby groups like Big Swimsuit and Big Sunglasses. They further claim that the weather was being particularly dreadful in order to squeeze more kickbacks from such special interests.
The letter speaks of "great regret at half drowning the shires and other areas in my liquid" and "cocking up" people's Christmases. It ends with a seemingly heartfelt "please forgive me for I let a tantrum get away from me".