Business secretary Vince Cable has found himself at the centre of an immigration row, after a journalist alleged that he was a major importer of illegal immigrants. The situation blew up yesterday as he told the journalist, 'I'm intensely relaxed about immigration and immigrants. In fact I've got a few of them digging my back garden up right now.' The journalist in question, who has asked to remain unnamed for fear of retaliations from renegade Lib Dems, said, 'it was shocking. He had a whole chain gang out there, many of whom looked as if they'd been beaten or starved. But Vince seemed happy as a Lord Rennard in a female activist meeting.' As Cable introduced the journalist to some of his 'workers', he revealed that he paid them 50p an hour, 'the going rate where I brought them in from'. He also seemed to provoke an unsettling degree of fear in them and, 'as he approached them, they would cower and say "No, no, Misser Cabelle,", revealing the lash marks on their necks.' Cable was later arrested on charges of human trafficking, but it has emerged that he intends to use the defence of 'marital coercion', saying that it was actually his wife who imported the slaves and then forced him to take the blame.
Cable 'intensely relaxed' about importing illegal immigrants
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