In a dramatic turn of events, the UK government announced that it had finally come up with sanction policy that was considered acceptable -yet likely to bring down the russian government.
In this, the "Abramovich" plan, the leading Russian oligarchs and leaders have each been given their own football club and expected to keep it going -something that will lose them all their money within a few months.
<insert some snide comements about various football teams here>
Vladimir Putin has himself been given Manchester United, on the basis of the billions he has secretly stashed away may keep it going for another season.
A spokesman for the government said "If owning Manchester United doesn't bring Putin back to the negotiating table, we're going to escalate by giving in Portsmouth and Glasgow Rangers". Nobody can withstand that.