David Blaine has been conspicuously quiet for some time, but now for his fans the long wait is finally over, because at a press conference on Manhattan's Lower East Side earlier today the illusionist announced details of his next, and some say, his most ambitious stunt to date.
Named Arseing Around, it will see the weirdy-beardy one not doing very much at all really for an amazing three months. Suspended from a crane over his Nan's house and inside a gigantic glass cube, Blaine will be seated on a green leather armchair watching a 52" plasma TV for most of the time. He may get up to make the odd cup of coffee or perhaps read a paper but there was no definite confirmation of this. Occasionally he may also yawn, scratch his bollocks and emit the sound "Pfft!" if he gets 'a bit fed up'."
His agent told the world's media, "In the past critics have said that for the most part David's showpiece stunts have been boring, that there has been very little to see and that actually next to nothing happens day-to-day. Well let's see them tell us this one isn't real special.
You know, sitting about being a regular guy is something that David finds incredibly hard to manage. He sees himself as a totally amazing super human being and craves attention every waking minute of the day, and just to behave like an ordinary person for the duration of this stunt could well mess his head up for good. I'd be lying if I said we're not all very worried about what this may do to his mind long-term."