BBC MWSA syndrome
Widespread throught Five Live.
BBC Sport journalists are prey to infection by the deadly MWSA bacterium which breeds in conditions of Stifling Arrogance and Unfounded Optimism
MWSA stands for Meeja-Wanker Staphylococcus Arseus, which is a common skin bacterium that is resistant to any form of humility.
Common Symptons: Marked tendency to jabber ceaseless drivel in an Irish accent
Aquired Football Deficiency Syndrome
Thought to be widespread throught the Premier Legue
Footballers are infected with the deadly Retro-Virus G4E1 by their Agents.
Transmission is through large sums of money.
Indications: Gradual decline in ability to play football
The Condition may be undetected for years amongst infected players as they all become crap, only shows up when players travell abroad and get gubbed.