Food giants Typhoo and Oxo have moved quickly to cash in on last night’s quintessentially British triumph at the Oscars. The iconic brands are pooling their resources to come up with a new convenience product that will double as both a refreshing beverage or a food sauce according to "whatever’s required by the customer".
A spokesman for the new venture said, “We’re all very excited about Gravytea. It’s a real first in convenience food and represents a perfect example of corporate manipulation of the masses. What we’ve created is something we're calling a Saucerage and it is entirely useless but will nevertheless sell well, because you see, as the public is so easy to dupe they’ll buy anything with a high-profile cinema tie-in, providing, of course, that the marketing is slick.
In particular we expect sales to soar in the UK as you can’t really have two things more British than gravy or tea, now can you?"
The new product is to be marketed heavily over the coming weeks and already a series of costly and amusing TV ads has been commissioned starring Johnny Vegas and former loose woman, Linda Bellingham. The ads see the pair cast as hapless astronauts who 'keep getting themselves into a spot of bother' by continually falling off a rocket, and then spinning endlessly around in space with nothing much else happening.