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I'm watching Glastonbury on the tv at the moment....

(22 posts) (12 voices)

Started 2 years ago by The All New Jeni B
Latest reply from The All New Jeni B

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The All New Jeni B

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...and unlike my dad, I've never been to a festival.
I'm not one for squalor, portaloos and tents, and the thought of staying unshowered for a whole weekend makes my skin crawl. But I really would love to do Glasto one year.

It's got me thinking what my ideal line up would be, and it'd be pretty eclectic with the likes of The Rolling Stones, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Paul Simon, Stevie Wonder (whose set started this off), the Beach Boys and loads more.

Who would other Biscuits like to see as their dream Glasto line up?

Posted 2 years ago #
MightyBlair

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Radiohead, Jeff Buckley, Led Zeppelin, Iron Maiden, Rodrygo Y Gabriela and Wet Wet Wet (I'm not actually sure that I'm joking. I once had a full blown argument at the a friend at the age of 13, where I argued that WWW were loads better than the prodigy. I called upon his Mum for support, sad times).

Posted 2 years ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Led Zep are a definite, and kind of see your WWW point. They might do bouncy cheery pop, but Marti Pellow can at least sing, and he's got a full blown drug addict past to make him a bit more Rock.

Also think I need to have some girls in my line up, so Kylie for that cheesy yet cool vibe, KT Tunstall because she went to the same school as my son, and Chaka Khan just because she's Chaka Khan.

Posted 2 years ago #
Quaz

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Oh Jeni, you really have to do Glasto once in your life. I went for 5 years straight in the 90's and I keep meaning to go back. It's magic, each year felt like I had gone back to another life / world and picked up again. Mind you, I never had a really bad mud year.

Perfect lineup? Tricky, as over the years I already saw so may heroes there, and you can spend all weekend happilly not seeing a band just in the other comedy, circus etc fields.

Louis Armstrong, Pulp, Blur, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, Bowie, Niel Young, Bob Mould, The Orb, Orbital, System 7, Gong (Original lineup plus Steve Hillage), The Clash, Bob Marly, Oasis, Pink Floyd, The Stranglers, Killers, the Kinks, The Beatles (in a small tent towards the greenfield), Hawkwind, Led Zep, The Beach Boys, Beck (before he became an ass), The KLF mixing "Chillout" live at the end in the greenfields at 3am.

Tell me who is playing what nights and I'll give you a schedule of chemicals for each night as well. These days I'd be happy with a hot toddy and a strong coffee.

Posted 2 years ago #
shitsu_tonka

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Best act I've seen at a festival is Eddie Izzard at Reading in '95. It was before he became really well known; he stalked onto the stage in full make-up and awesome suit and just knocked it out of the park. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before, everyone went crazy and we all knew that we'd just seen someone really special.

Love that a festival is your idea of squalor, Jeni :)

Posted 2 years ago #
Quaz

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Too right Shitsu, festivals these days have cash points and mobie phone chargers. Back
in the day, bog roll was posh. I used to wear a hat with joss sticks in the brim to the latrines.

Posted 2 years ago #
sauce

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Wasn't that an explosion risk, Quaz?

I grew up 7 miles from Glastonbury and, I have to confess, as one of the yokels, I never went. Partly that was because I spent most of my teen festival weeks at a theatre summer school - which was superb, so I shouldn't complain. It always seemed to coincide.

In the 70s the main local reaction to the festival was to discourage it. I remember my Dad (very liberal, bless) cussing because the local council sprayed pig slurry over roadside verges to deter "travellers" (gypsies, new age travellers, festival campers etc - a sweeping group of "not us"). That was probably under one of the Rees-Moggs [*makes sign against evil spirits*].

I missed seeing Gabriel when Womad started, so he'd be in my line up (but 20 years younger, mmm), KT Tunstall, Lily Allen, after watching Pet Shop Boys '10 performance on iPlayer last night they're in, KLF - yes what fun, The Jam, The Clash (assuming people can be reincarnated for the night), White Lies ... I'll be dreaming them up all day at work now.

And some good comedy and poetry - Benjamin Zephaniah definitely.

Posted 2 years ago #
sauce

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Mr Sauce just pondered, while making sarnies for the saucelets' lunches, and added John Lee Hooker (whom he saw in SF a couple of years before he died), Imagined Village (since Benjamin Z will be there already)and Midnight Oil.

Posted 2 years ago #
Mary Evans

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Soooooo with you Jen - Young Brother Evans has lately returned from Glasto, citing his perspective-altering musical and narcotic experiences as life-affirming reasons to go. But I just can't get over how bad he smells.

Wish I could have seen Stevie though -the man is a God. I often listen to Songs From the Key of Life, just to revel in the sheer inadequacy of knowing I'll never be as good at anything as he is at knocking out a tune.

Posted 2 years ago #
jp1885

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I went to the Reading Festival a few years ago, and was left with the distinct impression that the whole thing would've been much better if the organisers had provided a grown-ups field.
The music was great and all (except, disappointingly, the Foo Fighters), but trying to get some decent kip in a cheapo tent is bad enough, without being surrounded by thousands of young people, over-excited by the prospect of being allowed to stay up all night, light fires and play with their new bongs, constantly tripping over one's guide ropes and generally being rowdy.
Oh, and the bogs would put Satan's diarrhetic stool samples to shame.

Posted 2 years ago #
thisisall1word

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Fantasy Cabaret tent line up;

Arthur Smith compering
Josie Long
Ed Byrne
Drunk bad muddy ten pin bowling Brendan Burns on acid
Stewart Lee
Mark Thomas
John Hegley
Can Can Girls on whenever other people are late
Sean Lock
Bill Hicks
Jerry Sadowitz
Woody Bop Muddy

Posted 2 years ago #
shitsu_tonka

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I saw the Foo Fighters at Reading too, jp, and they were proper dreadful.

Not as bad as Courtney Love though, who, as far as I can recall through the drugs haze, hardly played any music just ran up and down the stage repeatedly screaming that we were all a bunch of cunts, which was a bit much for a pleasant Sunday afternoon.

Posted 2 years ago #
The All New Jeni B

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I think Courtney should be taken out and shot like the old horse she is.
I'm really enjoying everyone's festival reminiscences, but it's just making me wish I'd been there all the more.

Would cope with the camping if the weather was always guaranteed to be as good as this weekend, but I'd imagine that it would have made the portaloo situation worse.

Perhaps I should just save up and rent one of the luxury tepees.

Posted 2 years ago #
shitsu_tonka

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Jeni, fear not the festival toilet. If you do a festival properly you'll be so intoxicated one way or another that you simply won't care.

That said if I had the money I'd be straight in one of those luxury tepees with golden bathrooms and an instant unicorn on every pillow too.

Posted 2 years ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Intoxicated or not Shitsu, I have a pathological fear of public toilets of any description. I'd come back as bloated as a three-week dead whale on a beach.

As soon as the lottery comes up, I'm booking a tepee, with a side order of extra unicorns.
And some fairy wings too.

Posted 2 years ago #
sauce

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Might try the big chill next year, with the kids ... *gulp*

Posted 2 years ago #
jp1885

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I saw the Foo Fighters at Reading too, jp, and they were proper dreadful.

Yeah - shame really - luckily when I wondered off mid-set I managed to catch the end of the Go Team's effort - a far superior show!

Posted 2 years ago #
Doctor Moptop

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No festivals - sheltered life - but I did sell soft drinks at Elland Road in 1982 when Queen were the headline act, supported by Joan Jett and Heart. Teardrop Explodes were bottled off the stage. That's Yorkshire for you.

Years later, I was at parties where Julian Cope ran around naked except for a motor cycle helmet and The Bunnymen passed around cuttings from their houseplants. I'd never met people with such green fingers - as I believe I remarked at the time. Hindsight suggests that I was their pet idiot ...

Posted 2 years ago #
simonjmr

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The Green Man festival is quite a relaxed little number, so is the End of the Road festival both small civilised affairs and very family friendly too.

Posted 2 years ago #
edward hack

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I'm with Jeni all the way on this one.
Festivals are out.
If they can't provide personal showers and individual toilet facilites for everybody then I ain't going.
I tried doing it in a cider bottle but didn't have any toilet paper.
Iggy Plop might like getting his todger out in front of 140,000 but he's getting paid by the centimeter

Posted 2 years ago #
Peter

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For all you armchair festival goers (like me!) NPR Music in the USofA is quite brilliant.

Their website has loads of full concerts from most big American festivals (to download or stream), plus some of their own sessions. There's some great stuff available.

http://www.npr.org/music/

Posted 2 years ago #
The All New Jeni B

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I think what I'll do next year is block up all the toilets in the house, hide the loo rolls, charge myself extortionate prices for the food in the fridge, turn all the showers to cold and sit outside on the deck and watch Glasto on the tv from a distance, with the volume turned to 'distort'.

Anyone want to join me?
Only £300 for a ticket...

Posted 2 years ago #

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