The Ministry of Defence is said to be drawing up plans to 'stabilise' Scotland in time for the coming referendum. Leaked official documents outline a novel plan to send 'lots of armed goodwill' over the border, initially into friendly territory.
A squadron of the RAF regiment, two platoons of territorials, three linguists and a dog-handler from Essex are currently en-route for Carlisle in a fleet of minibuses. Meanwhile, members of the Royal Irish Regiment are said to be catching the evening Stranraer ferry thus enacting an elegant pincer movement.
Rumours are unconfirmed that the SAS have stalled plans for 'black ops' against Jock Jihadists on the grounds that, as with the Taliban, UK special forces trained most of them in the first place so current tactics will be compromised.
Exercise 'Mars Attacks' is scoped as a test of expeditionary operations in denied areas, where infrastructure is poor. Troops are also tasked with testing their peace-keeping skills in difficult urban terrain, such as Paisley. Experts in cultural sensitivity have been drafted to win hearts and minds. The key recommendation thus far has been to ensure the indigenous people retain a ready supply of beige food. It has also been suggested that the exercise should never be referred to by its original covername 'Operation Southern Overlord'.
Plans are a little uncertain as to which ground to occupy in the first instance. Intelligence analysts confirmed that the majority of Scotland appears to be empty, though they haven't checked the pubs.
Hat-tip to Al OPecia so far...