If your poo looks unusual, you probably have colon cancer. Don’t start any long DIY projects.
Persistent cough, lasting for more than 2 weeks? Lung cancer – that’s really bad.
Heartburn for 3 days or more could be oesophagogastric cancer. I know, we had to look it up too, and we’re doctors! It’s bad.
No obvious signs or symptoms? That’ll be one of the ‘silent’ cancers – they’re the worst. Best get down to your GP quickly, before the bone cancer spreads to your legs and you can’t manage it.
This advice was brought to you by the NHS. We’d love to treat you but our waiting rooms are full of the worried well.