I'm a Celebrity and TOWIE star, Joey Essex, has broken his silence and has waded into the current Ukrainian crisis offering to mediate between "Moscow and them uvver geezers...The UK or sumfink ain't it?"
Speaking on Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway the reality TV star said, "I fink it's well bad and that. People should be mates and not go kicking off about this and that and fings. That Putin matey's trouble ain't he, and he needs a good slap I reckon. Mind though, I don't know naffink about the issues. I only just learnt to tie my shoelaces like. Cheers guy, nice one. But not being funny or anyfink, but my lack of savvy on the salient issues shouldn't preclude me from having a view. Know what I'm saying and that and shit?"
And there was support for the loveable simpleton from the unlikely quarter of Foreign Secretary, William Hauge. "Mr Essex represents the view of the man on the Clapham Omnibus, and we as an administration ignore his homespun wisdom at our peril. Indeed The Prime Minister is thinking of bringing him into government as The Common Man's Opinion Tsar, following the success of our last cheap, tawdry and pathetically populist move when we engaged Mary Portas to save our high streets."