Remember all those times in the past when a hideously dull and annoying person or family tried to strike up a conversation on holiday or in an aeroplane, and you’d really rather they hadn’t? Or perhaps you’re still cursing yourself for not introducing yourself to that fellow flyer or holidaymaker you feel sure you would have got on with like a house on fire last year. Well, now you can make your feelings clear – in advance.
Whether you’re a lonely single looking for love, a feisty family intent on a fortnight of fun or just a miserable git who dislikes uninvited social intercourse, whatever the setting, a brand new and innovative leisure related app, Appy Holidays, is set to revolutionise your future. Appy Holidays (2014) CEO, Nolan Cherkowski, explains. “Technology has pretty much sucked out all the mystery in life. For example, if you want to know what currency they use in Outer Mongolia, how a cricket makes such a loud noise or what your mate Dave is up to right at this very minute, you can find out in an instant. So we thought, why not take it the whole hog and let people pre-book their holiday destiny?”
But how does Appy Holidays (2014) work? It sounds complicated, but its unique and highly sophisticated HTS (holidaymaker tracking system) burrows down into the tour operator or hotel’s database and finds the people who are booked on the same flight and/or into the same resort as the user. It then does a comprehensive online search of each individual’s social media presence to eke out the minutiae about their location, interests, likes, dislikes etc. Then, once all of this data is gathered (it literally takes a nano-second) it’s formatted into an easy to interpret spreadsheet and emailed to the user detailing exactly who they might encounter on their trip.
But the Appy Holidays (2014) journey doesn’t end there.
The beauty of this talented bit of technology is that it gives you the opportunity to send pre-set automated messages to your fellow travellers expressing your interest in hooking up during the time you’ll be spending together. So for instance, if you’re sharing a flight you can fire off the message “we have so much in common, we should sit together on flight (the number and destination will be automatically generated)”. Or, if you discover you’ve booked a fortnight at a resort and some of your fellow travellers appear to share the same interests, however vague that perceived alignment may seem, Appy Holidays (2014) will enable you to get in touch by messaging “Hey! We’ve booked the same two weeks holiday as you. Let’s meet at breakfast day one”.
And, here’s the best bit. Appy Holidays (2014) also enables users to ‘dislike’ individuals, or a family right up to the day of departure, thus making sure that the boring family from Birmingham you’ve spotted on your spreadsheet get the message very loud and clear, several times if necessary, that you’re totally disinterested in sharing breakfast, singing karaoke or sitting poolside with them. Nor do you want to hear their tedious little life stories or sad tales of how they too have been to London, or that one of them has just had a hip replacement.
Market experts are already anticipating that although Appy Holidays (2014) is a free application and won’t be easy to monetise, it could float on the stock market for around £1.4bn within two years. And that could just lead to a whole bunch of Appy Holidays (vacations in the States) for its creator. And of course it’s impossible to put a price on being able to tell your fellow travellers what you think of them via your mobile or other device, in advance of your trip. Happy, er, we mean Appy holidays