US Defence Secretary Chuck "Chucky" Hagel announcing deep defence cuts, and the consequent downsizing of the US Army, admitted that in future they will only be able invade two poorly defended at once, or one quite well defended country and Great Britain.
"We have thought long and hard about this, and are confident that we have invaded everyone who has oil, so no need to keep these guys in chow and boots", he added, "but then do we look like we should be providing some kind of Commie Welfare State". He reserved the right to nuke North Korea and the crazy cats up there.
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